


don’t wanna let anybody know

by limitlist



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sokka has anxiety, Zuko is a good boyfriend, more hurt than comfort but the comfort is there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limitlist/pseuds/limitlist
Summary: Sokka has a panic attack. Zuko talks him down.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 746





	don’t wanna let anybody know

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning for panic attack described in detail. be kind to yourselves, don’t read this if you think it could negatively affect you please.
> 
> title is from everything i wanted by billie eilish.

So maybe Sokka didn’t know what he was doing. Maybe he was just going along with whatever happened in life, and maybe he wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up in this situation, but here he was. Where was he? Shit, he didn’t even know. 

Physically, he was lost in the palace somewhere. Zuko had never gotten around to giving him a tour, and as soon as he could breathe well enough or focus his eyes for long enough or stop shaking, Sokka was going to track down Fire Lord Forgetful and force a map out of the guy. His palace was huge.

Mentally? Oh, just trying not to spiral into his overwhelming fear of not having a purpose in life. No big.

Sokka scrunched his face up, digging his knuckles into his closed eyes. He leaned back on the wall behind him, slowly sinking to the ground. Everything was hot, too hot, he couldn’t think through the oppressive heat and the fog in his brain. 

He’d been doing fine! He was okay, really, he was great and there was nothing wrong. They weren’t at war anymore, and hey, that was good! They weren’t at war, he was in the fire nation (less good), Katara and Aang were off in the Earth Kingdom on a diplomatic trip (and he was fine without them), Suki was training a new batch of Kyoshi Warriors (because she’s a badass), Toph took up an advisor position to Zuko (which is fine because he doesn’t care), Zuko was struggling through his Fire Lord duties, and Sokka...

Sokka didn’t have a job. Yet! Yet. He didn’t have a job, yet. He will... eventually. Probably.

There was just so much he wanted to do! He wanted to help Zuko with his Fire Lord shit, of course, but he also wanted to finish his swordsmanship training, and develop some inventions he had been thinking about, and read through the palace library, and and and—

And now he’s sitting who the fuck knows where, knees to his chest and hands in his eyes like a fucking child, hyperventilating for no good reason and what if he never finds his purpose, all of his friends knew what they wanted and he was here, sitting in a hallway and he didn’t even know where he was and what if he could never find his way back and no one noticed he was gone because he doesn’t fucking contribute anything and—

Suddenly there was a presence kneeling in front of him, carefully not making contact. “Sokka, hey, hey buddy, breathe with me c’mon, deep breath in. That’s good Sokka, deep breath out. Hey come on, breathe with me, in and out with me, in... and hold it for a sec... and out now, you’re doing good Sokka, just keep breathing...”

Sokka tried to yank his mind out of the endless cycle of thoughts, worthlessness, pointless, he can’t can’t can’t—

“Hey c’mon, focus on my voice, I’m right here Sokka, we’re in a hallway near the kitchens and it’s nighttime and you’re okay, it’s going to be okay, just breathe with me.”

Sokka brought his hands down to twist in his lap and opened his eyes to see Zuko crouching on the ground a few feet away, hair loose around his face, eyes red and face flushed, his hands gripping his knees like he had to physically restrain himself from reaching out.

Zuko tentatively forced a smile on his face for Sokka. “Hey, there you are. Feeling a bit better?” His eyebrows furrowed as Sokka’s breathing spiked again. “Just keep breathing buddy, it’s going to be okay, whatever it is, we’re gonna fix it together, you don’t have to do this alone, you have me and your sister and the rest of our friends,” and Sokka was sure he kept going, he could see Zuko’s mouth moving, but Sokka just couldn’t hear anything because he was suddenly thinking about how he couldn’t tell Zuko what he was thinking, Zuko would know how messed up he is then, he’d know that Sokka had nothing to contribute, Sokka’s just a mess, just a Water Tribe guy who can’t decide what he wants to do and can’t help and—

“Sokka. Sokka I really need you to focus on me, not whatever it is that’s causing this, or you’re going to pass out and I’m going to have to carry you to the medics and you’re going to be embarrassed.”

Huh. Good point. Sokka took a shaky breath in, trying to hold it for more than a millisecond before pushing it out. And again. And again. And eventually, he cracked an eye open again to see Zuko had finally decided to sit his ass down from the uncomfortable crouch he’d been maintaining. 

“Hey there, handsome,” Sokka grated out. His voice was raspy from the past, oh, 10 minutes of hyperventilating and choking back sobs. It’s fine. 

Zuko cracked a relieved grin back at him. “Hi gorgeous. How’re you doing?” 

Sokka snorted. “Boring question. I’m obviously doing amazing.”

“Oh really? So this is just an exercise?” Zuko drawled sarcastically. 

Laughing, Sokka nodded vigorously. “Oh yeah, testing your response times to your boyfriend freaking out over dumb shit. Congrats, you passed.”

At that, the smile dropped off of Zuko’s face. Sokka couldn’t think up a way to stop him from pushing the subject in time to cut him off. 

“It’s not dumb, Sokka. Do you want to talk about it?” Zuko carefully maintained eye contact, and that’s how Sokka knew he was worried. Zuko was getting better at socializing, at talking to people in general, but he was by no means a master at it. He only bothered to practice his blossoming social skills on things that mattered, and never put up a front with Sokka unless it was necessary. 

However, Sokka really did not want to discuss the situation. He mutely shook his head, not wanting to risk saying something wrong. It always took a while for him to get his words back into working order after... well. Whatever this was. 

Zuko accepted his denial for now, most likely saving his energy to push for answers when Sokka hadn’t just stopped freaking out. “Well,” he started, letting his gaze drop to Sokka’s hands, “want to go steal some snacks from the kitchens and hide on the roof?”

Sokka snorted, thumping his head back on the wall. “Yeah,” he said softly. “That sounds... good.”

He stood up from his awkward ball with his boyfriend’s help. As Zuko met his eyes, smiling softly, Sokka was struck with the thought that if he had Zuko, maybe it didn’t matter what he did. He could advise, engineer, study, invent, whatever. As long as he had Zuko, life would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @limit-list !!


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